The Funeral of the Plastic Grocery Bag in San Francisco - Say Hello to Paper

I guess I can rip-off Dave Chappelle: "Paper Bag Bitch!"

Scarface too: "Say hello to my brown bag friend!"

Say goodbye to your favorite plastic grocery bag folks. That's the way nutty San Francisco goes folks, I guess I can't use those bags to bag-up stinky trash that I thrown down my kitchen garbage anymore. I'll just have it leak through the paper bag, and I'll be smelling rotting things all week long until pick-up day.

Sure, it makes sense to eliminate plastic bags: They don't decompose, it comes from petroleum products, kill animals, and creates a choking hazard for kids and just the outright stupid adults trying to get a rush.

But on the opposite side, paper bags aint so pretty too. We may now have the reputation for killing more trees to make our paper bags, regardless if they are partially recycled or not. Ever watched "Penn and Teller: Bullshit?" They say that recycling sucks anyway. Paper only has a limited recycling life, and you have to blend it with some virgin tree pulp to create a suitable bag.

Ever tried those bag handles? Um... they suck!

So how do we get around this problem? You could...

• Go to another city, such as the Safeway at Daly City. Get a plastic shopping bag and also a .25% tax discount (Daly City is 8.25% tax vs. SF at 8.5%)
  
• Buy those grocery plastic bags at an inexpensive price at your favorite wholesale store (aint that just ironic?).
  
• Buy a longer lasting plastic bag or a reusable bag.
• Costco sells three huge bags for $3
• Safeway gives three cents for each bag you reuse at the store (just 3 cents?). They also sell reusable cloth like bags, but they are small and of cheap quality.
  
• Andronico's gives a bag discount
• Lucky's (a.k.a Albertsons) sells a 99 cent bag and gives a 25 cent discount every time you use that specific bag at their stores.
• IKEA sells those huge blue tarp like bags for 79 cents.
• It's just another sign to go shop at your favorite mom and pop store, because at least you can still get plastic bags. The grocery stores got the fuck you heave ho by our city government.

Let's summarize my rants:
I want my plastic bag!
Damn, now I have to haul those reusable sacks around in my car.
No more Styrofoam, now no more plastic. Let's kill more trees!