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or, better yet, give him a job."
(Brock Keeling, SFist)

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

My Write-In Candidates for Mayor of San Francisco

Japantown Fall Festival - Gavin Newsom
I'm no fan of politics, basically I hate politics. I feel that many people who get elected are scumbags, and I've openly admitted it when a politician got in my face at a Farmers Market and I yelled out: "YOU ARE SCUM!"

I thought for laughs, who would I vote for Mayor of San Francisco? No, I'm not picking some person off the ballot, I would do a write-in. Here's my choices:
  1. Tony Bennett. Who else but the man who sings "I Left My Heart in San Francisco?"
  2. Brian Wilson. The beard can kick ass any day.
  3. R. Lee Erney. The sarge can scream and make life a living hell for those who pisses him off.
  4. SF's World Famous Bushman. He'd scare the crap out of the BOS.
  5. Frank Chu. He doesn't have to say a word; he just flashes his sign and people understand.
  6. Any person from that TV show "Extreme Couponing." We can save millions on city toilet paper and motor oil for Muni buses with just a bunch of coupons.
  7. Stone Cold Steve Austin (pro wrestling). Drinking on the job, doesn't play nice with the press, and does stunners on the Board of Supervisors.
  8. Michael Tilson Thomas, SF Symphony. He can bring his symphony with him to press meetings and play dramatic music when he says there's a budget problem, and soothing music to calm the public.
  9. The Cast of Wicked. Glinda and Elphaba doesn't need to rely on gasoline or city owned cars, they can save tons by riding on a bubble or broomstick. They could also cast a spell on Muni to run on-time and under budget.
  10. Dirty Harry. Okay, it's a movie character, but we need a guy who can run this city with a "I don't give a shit" attitude.
  11. Emperor Norton. He might be dead, but fining people for calling SF "Frisco" is respect in my books.

What's your suggestions? Leave it in the comments.

1 comment:

Ryan said...

Akit, first let me say that I love your posts, and your thinking on transit. I myself am a public transit advocate. However, I think your apathetic stance on voting and politics goes against your published views on almost everything else. You seem to advocate getting involved, working the system, and getting your goals accomplished via good public policy. You are like a great watchdog, I love that part of your posts. But I have to reconsider how much I would want to pay attention to someone who makes fun of the voting process. In summary: Why would anyone want to listen to public policy input from somebody who can't even be bothered to raise their hand?