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or, better yet, give him a job."
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Thursday, March 15, 2012

Top 30 Ways You Know You're a Real San Franciscan

SFSU Commencement 2008 - Gavin Newsom Speaking 11

SFGate did a list with their staffers of their ways people know if they area a "real San Franciscan." Some of them are lame, like Chinese New Year is not a federal holiday (DUH!); so I thought it's time to generate my own list.

You know you're a real San Franciscan if you...
  1. Hate the 30 MPH speed limit on 19th Avenue, and prefers to drive the older, faster speed limit.
  2. Move all the way to the back of the F-Market where there's ample standing room, and the tourists stay in the front half of the train.
  3. Board Muni like a boss and tag that Clipper card, while others pay in cash.
  4. Didn't give a damn about the Occupy encampment, and the daily Falun Gong protests at Portsmouth Square and the Chinese embassy.
  5. Opened a window on a Muni bus on a cold day because the operator blasted the heat.
  6. Used the city's public self-cleaning bathrooms once, and never again.
  7. Hate local politicians, especially those who robocall you on random occasions (e.g. PHIL TING).
  8. Had to drive around the block five times to get a parking space on Irving Street on a mid-Sunday afternoon.
  9. Still remember the good ol' days of KFRC on 99.7.
  10. (For guys) Taking a piss in the trough urinal at Candlestick.
  11. Had to go to the inconvenient criminal courthouse on Bryant for jury duty.
  12. Attended either City College or SF State.
  13. Patronize in Daly City as a middle finger gesture to SF for high sales taxes, plastic and styrofoam ban, and outrageous gas prices.
  14. Willing to go all the way across the city for your favorite food/snack, even though there's a similar place not far from your home.
  15. Knows how to score two hours of free parking at Pier 39.
  16. Can catch the Cable Car without waiting in the long line at the Powell turnaround.
  17. Earned a 'Croix de Candlestick' button for surviving the ass freezing cold at Candlestick.
  18. Survived attending an entire Board of Supervisors meeting.
  19. Nearly got hit by a car when crossing the street.
  20. Seen Frank Chu (San Francisco's favorite protester) at a major event.
  21. Never want to leave SF, no matter what the newspaper statistics say.
  22. You know when free days are at the museums. (from my friend Brandi)
  23. Willing to shop outside the city borders because they have all the big box stores.
  24. Know which bums to avoid and the ones that are not so bad (from my friend Lena).
  25. Hate anyone that says "San Fran" (from Lena). My frustration is towards "Frisco."
  26. An earthquake awakens you, then you go right back to sleep.
  27. Remember watching movies at the defunct Coronet and Alexandria.
  28. Got caught in a traffic jam due to Critical Mass.
  29. Slammed the brakes at a red light camera intersection.
  30. You blame the mayor for everything.

I welcome your suggestions, just leave a comment!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Awesome start, here's more:

1) Danced at the i-beam on straight night

2) knows where secret safeway is

3) ice skated in the sunset

4) has re-enacted the Bullitt chase, correctly

5) can "sutro-locate" using the 3 antennae of Sutro Tower and their relative positions

6) knows where La Lengue is (or answers the question: are Valencia and Mission parallel or perpendicular?)

7) drives N/S through the Sunset on Sunset (or knows where "13th" Ave and "36th" Ave are)

8) can name the E/W streets in the sunset in reverse alphabetical order by heart (my fave)

9) slid the steward slides

10) Can name 20 hills in SF, platinum standard: can name 30.