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or, better yet, give him a job."
(Brock Keeling, SFist)

Monday, September 1, 2008

Ten Ways of Being a True San Franciscan

Somehow just for my amusement, here is my top ten ways of how you can be a true San Franciscan. Now you don't have to live in this city (it gets a little pricey), but you need to truly be San Franciscan in these ways:

  1. You hate tourists, espeically the ones who pack the F-Market/Wharves and the Cable Cars when you need to get somewhere.
  2. You don't just read the Chronicle, but at least one of the other ones like the Bay Guardian and even AsianWeek (at least for an advance copy of the Best Buy ad).
  3. You go to Giants games once in a while, but you at least spend some money across the street at Safeway to stop being ripped-off like at the concession stands.
  4. You hate at least one San Francisco politician. My most hated: Ed Jew.
  5. You use your Fast Pass or pay extra to ride BART because you know Muni metro is a slow piece of shit. Downtown to Balboa Park in no time on BART!
  6. You've called 311 and got a real stupid answer by the customer service operator.
  7. You know that the sales tax is 8.5% and when you want to do a big purchase, you run down to Daly City to save one-quarter percent.
  8. That new anti-styrofoam law really pisses you off when your paper box bottom is soggy as hell.
  9. You know at least two places that offers free admission to a museum or other attraction on a monthly basis.
  10. You refuse to watch KRON-TV and watch the KNTV (NBC 11) news because they suck.
Got any ideas? Please feel free to comment.


troymccluresf said...

You hate tourists

Very San Franciscan, but man, that's obnoxious.

Whole Wheat Toast said...

you actually can save .75% sales tax by heading up to Novato (sales tax 7.75%), but who has time to head up to Marin, full of rich people?

annie said...

Wow, this list makes "True" San Franciscans sound super whiney.

As a true SFer myself, I couldn't disagree with you more on a few of your points. In particular, the tourists. I love the tourists. We NEED the tourists. If you hate tourists, you shouldn't live in SF, or any large city. Tourists bring in much needed revenue, and also make walking around the City more entertaining. When I am not in the mood, I can choose to stay in areas where they don't frequent. And, if I need to get somewhere, as a true SFer I know better than to try the F-Market or Cable Cars. Walking is faster.

I will agree with you on BART. When presented the choice, I'll go with BART 100% of the time.

Anonymous said...

Hey Akit - you are the man!!!

Love reading ur stuff bro - I lived in SF for 4 years but I'm originally from NYC - man, talk about hating tourists - i can totally understand the sentiments we would have towards tourists, annoying, slow, blocking traffic all the time cause they walk around like retarded mice in those mazes that can't find the cheese. The US Open is in New York right now I see all these tourists all over the 7 train when usually there aren't as much - they are really damn funny, they ride the subways like paranoid recent convicts walking into prison for the first time trying to look confident but so utterly lost and scared to make eye contact.

Alrite man, keep writing Akit, and next time i'm in SF, i will check out some of those dining preferences u put up!

murphstahoe said...

.25% on a $1000 purchase is $2.50. It costs more than $2.50 in gas to get to Daly City and back from most of SF, and the round trip BART cost is similar. True San Franciscan's can spot a false economy from a mile away.