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Monday, November 14, 2011

14 Realistic Vision Statements for Muni

Muni to Chinatown Station?

Muni's vision starting in the year 2013 is:
"San Francisco: Great City, Excellent Transportation Choices." (PDF document)

What a classic! We the public believe that!
I think I just peed in my pants.

I thought to myself, let's make some real vision statements for Muni... here we go!
  1. "We continue to suck, and the public knows it."
  2. "Proposition G saved us millions, and we used it to pay for the central subway."
  3. "On time to us means if we never show-up, we don't get in trouble."
  4. "We think fare hikes is an easy way to fix our budget."
  5. "Slow is our middle name."
  6. "Central subway will solve all of our problems."
  7. "NIMBYs rule our agency."
  8. "Preventative maintenance is our tenth priority over other items such as my big fat salary and pension fund."
  9. "Our reputation is like our graffiti problem, we can never get it clean."
  10. "Fail, on top of fail, on top of more fail = fail sandwich."
  11. "We don't suck as bad as AC Transit, but they got cooler looking buses."
  12. "Screwing the public everyday."
  13. "There's no such thing as a guarantee, except fare hikes and cuts in service."
  14. "We love cameras, including the malfunctioning ones operating on our entire fleet."

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