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Tuesday, October 19, 2010

24 Questions and Thoughts While Riding BART

Have you ever thought of these questions or said these statements while waiting around or riding BART?
  1. It's the only seat left in the car and it has a stain. Should I take the seat?
  2. Why won't people move to the next car? It's crowded on this one, but the other one is empty.
  3. Can you please not board the train while people are exiting?
  4. Move to the right side of the escalator if you are going to stand, jackass.
  5. I don't want a foot on my ass, so get your feet off the seat.
  6. Your luggage is not a human body, get it off the seat.
  7. Please don't pick your nose and grab the pole after that.
  8. Eeew, clip your nails at home.
  9. If the sticker says on the doors are broken, don't stand there waiting for the door to open.
  10. Just because BART's tunnels now have cell phone service doesn't mean you can talk as loud as you can to compensate for the loud tunnel noise.
  11. What's in the news today? Let me look at the newspaper the person in front of me is reading.
  12. Thanks for breaking the train doors, dummy. Now I can't get to work on-time.
  13. You must be stupid to park your car in a bus only lane at Daly City BART so you can pick-up your wife. I'm hoping a Samtrans bus smashes your rear end.
  14. Did you bring a bike on BART? Good for you, healthy exercise. Just keep it off the escalators.
  15. Where's my hand sanitizer?
  16. Let's play... guess the mystery stain on the BART train's blue carpet!
  17. The first ever passenger on BART was Richard Nixon. Oh hell, he left a big fat curse on the agency because fares keep rising every few years.
  18. How soon will the passenger next to me go deaf? I can hear the music leaking out of the earphones while the train car is making loud noises in the tunnel.
  19. I just heard the word "ahhh," time to move to the next car because I think the person just farted.
  20. Good, there's no floor to ceiling poles on BART. All I need is crazy people doing terrible pole dancing.
  21. I know you enjoy drinking that soy nonfat latte with a shot of vanilla syrup and extra foam, but all I need is to get my dress pants stained.
  22. There's nothing worse than the vomit inducing smell of fast food french fries on the train.
  23. When BART fails, there's always AC Transit. Ha!!! Another round of AC service cuts coming soon.
  24. I don't need help with the ticketing machine Mr. Crazy Dude.


Anonymous said...

I can't believe you haven't had most of these thoughts while riding Muni. The only difference is that you tend to pay more for the privilege on BART.

You missed one, BTW: "Take your backpack off when you're standing. Do you not understand that you're taking up twice the space with it on?" (Again, not a BART-only gripe.)

Akit said...

I actually did do one on Muni many months ago:

Anonymous said...

As one person told me, you can also carry your backpack on one strap as you are standing--taking up less space.