24 Questions and Thoughts While Riding BART

Have you ever thought of these questions or said these statements while waiting around or riding BART?

1. It's the only seat left in the car and it has a stain. Should I take the seat?
2. Why won't people move to the next car? It's crowded on this one, but the other one is empty.
3. Can you please not board the train while people are exiting?
4. Move to the right side of the escalator if you are going to stand, jackass.
5. I don't want a foot on my ass, so get your feet off the seat.
6. Your luggage is not a human body, get it off the seat.
7. Please don't pick your nose and grab the pole after that.
8. Eeew, clip your nails at home.
9. If the sticker says on the doors are broken, don't stand there waiting for the door to open.
10. Just because BART's tunnels now have cell phone service doesn't mean you can talk as loud as you can to compensate for the loud tunnel noise.
11. What's in the news today? Let me look at the newspaper the person in front of me is reading.
12. Thanks for breaking the train doors, dummy. Now I can't get to work on-time.
13. You must be stupid to park your car in a bus only lane at Daly City BART so you can pick-up your wife. I'm hoping a Samtrans bus smashes your rear end.
    
14. Did you bring a bike on BART? Good for you, healthy exercise. Just keep it off the escalators.
15. Where's my hand sanitizer?
16. Let's play... guess the mystery stain on the BART train's blue carpet!
17. The first ever passenger on BART was Richard Nixon. Oh hell, he left a big fat curse on the agency because fares keep rising every few years.
18. How soon will the passenger next to me go deaf? I can hear the music leaking out of the earphones while the train car is making loud noises in the tunnel.
19. I just heard the word "ahhh," time to move to the next car because I think the person just farted.
20. Good, there's no floor to ceiling poles on BART. All I need is crazy people doing terrible pole dancing.
21. I know you enjoy drinking that soy nonfat latte with a shot of vanilla syrup and extra foam, but all I need is to get my dress pants stained.
22. There's nothing worse than the vomit inducing smell of fast food french fries on the train.
23. When BART fails, there's always AC Transit. Ha!!! Another round of AC service cuts coming soon.
24. I don't need help with the ticketing machine Mr. Crazy Dude.
    

Questions and Thoughts While Riding Muni

When riding Muni or just waiting for it, have you ever thought of these questions or said these statements?

1. Why do passengers pull the "stop requested" cord while the metro train is in the subway?
2. Also, why do passengers 'kick' the door handles on the metro train while it is in the subway and just arrived at a station?
   
3. Do the emergency exit red handles on the windows actually work?
4. When will Muni revise the mispronounced street names?
5. Why do some people think the back doors automatically open when they don't read the sign that says "STEP DOWN TO OPEN DOORS?"
6. Whose idea was it to make a shrill noise when someone touches the closing doors of a metro train?
7. Can I actually fit into that metro seat that's next to the window and in front of the middle doors?
8. If the fare box is not working and fare inspectors board the vehicle, what's next?
9. Why did you pick your nose and eventually put your fingers on the pole?
10. Is there a reason why someone has to clip their fingernails now, on the bus, when it can be done at home?
11. I wonder what the lady next to me is talking about on the phone.
12. Ding ding, "please exit through the rear doors." I GET IT! STOP TELLING ME THAT!
    
13. I'm going to sneak a peek at that newspaper the guy is reading. Sale on shoes? I'm there!
14. I don't need to be told every few minutes in three languages that the front seats are reserved for seniors and the disabled. Hell, I can lip sync every single Chinese word spoken.
    
15. I wonder if I can get away with taking two transfers from the rubber band on the fare box when paying my fare.
16. Hold the card steady dumbass while using that TransLink card.
17. It's dark, I'm wearing a black jacket and dark pants. Should I wave my hand at the approaching bus I need?
18. Shit, fare inspectors!
19. If I lay a fart on the metro train and the air conditioner sucks that air in, will it spread to the rest of the train?
20. If the station agent's booth says pay cash at other booth, why are the fare gates still allowing me to dump money into the box?
21. Muni bio diesel... the bus passing by doesn't smell like french fries.
22. Another delay? Where's my tax money going?
23. 311 is telling me to call 511 to get bus arrival times and use the "stop ID #," so where the hell is the sticker telling me that?