After reading the popular posting on SFgate called: "Heinous crimes to commit in San Francisco" that has a list of basically annoying crap that people do on the streets of our city, I thought to myself, I can make it a step better by making a list of my own.
So on my way back home on the 18-46th Avenue, I wrote down a bunch of ideas down. Here's what I got...
- Boarding the back door. Just today, I took the 8X-Bayshore Express from the Hall of Justice (jury duty) to Market street, and I'm trying to exit the bus, but this old Chinese lady boards and continues shoving me while I'm trying to exit. She crushes me against the center handrail and nearly destroyed the proximity card I carry to work.
- Take a shower asshole, because you smell like one. On my ride home on the 18, this guy carrying a couple of grocery bags smelled like pee, really nasty pee. The passengers were opening windows, and I was near the point of puking. If you smell bad, or you put on too much cologne/perfume, do me a favor, call a taxi.
- Clipping your nails. If you read my blog, it's one of my popular entries. Clipping nails is one of the nastiest things to do while on the bus. Littering the ground with nails, and the loud noise it generates just pisses people off, but no passenger has the balls to stand up and say: "do your shit at home!"
- Yak yak yak on that cell phone. Please do me a favor, either hang-up or talk so silently that the person next to you can't hear a thing. I don't need to hear that your prescription Viagra didn't work.
- Carrying porno on the bus. I don't want to know that some star is doing their first (censored!). I remember several years back and I was riding the 38 Geary and this guy was hiding porno behind his jacket and it accidentally fell to the floor. How embarrassing!
- Farting. Also known as passing gas and the dutch oven. If you are old and fart on the bus, it's time to use one of those bathroom stick ons near your butt to cover the smell.
- Ringing the bell late. There is no excuse if you ring the bell with just feet to go before the next stop. Half a block please.
- Stealing all the info pamphlets from the bus. If the pamphlet holder says "take one," it doesn't mean TAKE THEM ALL! There's this jackass on the 18-46th Avenue bus in the mornings who steals all of them, every single pamphlet (no matter how useless the info is). When Muni did serious re-routes on December 5th and published colorful pamphlets, that asshole took every single one of them from every single holder, and did it again the next day.
- Paying the fare box with coins, other than quarters. I want to get to work, or get to a nice place for dinner, so please don't waste my time by feeding the farebox with nickels and dimes. And for those assholes to pay with pennies, it's time you went to a Coinstar machine.